Friday, Sep. 26, 2008

Life is full of second chances

BRIAN HERNALSTEEN bhernalsteen@ star-telegram.com

We don’t always get a second chance.

But sometimes, if you are really lucky, and the stars align, those second chances happen.

Such is the case for Donald Lilly. He was diagnosed with testicular cancer in February. After a series of treatments, he was cancer free.

And then a few months ago, the cancer came back.

This go-round, though, he has the backing of the community.

Starting tonight, Mansfield High School will "Huddle for a Cause." Every time the Tigers huddle for offense, money will be donated to help the cause. I hope they huddle a million times.

As a community, we have a second chance to help a fellow Mansfield resident.

I lose sleep at nights because I missed my second chance.

I knew my tenure at Tarleton State University would be brief. Texas A&M had dropped its journalism program, and I was just floating along, hoping to find a way back to Aggieland.

In my preparation for my triumphant return, I studied nonstop. I was always doing work, and it paid off. My grades were the best I had seen since elementary school.

In that preparation, I vowed to make as few friends as possible, so I could focus on the school work. I wound up making just four friends.

There was Megan, Sam, Sonya and Kelli Nix.

Kelli was as tough as nails, and the first girl that I brought home that had the guts to call my parents by their first names. My brothers’ girlfriends followed suit, but Kelli paved the way.

When I first met her, we clicked. She spoke her mind, laughed at the fact that I took the Detroit Red Wings way too seriously and would put me in my place. She reminded me so much of my mother, it was scary.

When Kelli was in high school in Glen Rose a few years before we met, she suffered a violent seizure in class one afternoon. She went to the doctors, and it was a brain tumor. She went through treatment and surgeries, and all was well and the cancer was gone.

I left Tarleton after one year and accepted an offer to Sam Houston State where I could continue my sports writing dream, and Kelli and I lost a little touch. We promised to call each other a few times a week, and we did for awhile. Then it went down to weekly chats on Instant Messenger, then to a monthly email, then to nothing.

I got in touch with her once again in late 2006 when she passed along an urgent email telling me I needed to call her right away.

I did. The cancer was back.

This time around, though, we could do nothing.

I was working a pretty hectic schedule, and I kept promising to visit Kelli in Glen Rose. Mutual friends would email me asking to visit her, and to sneak in a pack of cigarettes for her.

I never got that chance.

Kelli died in February 2007. My second, third and fourth chances to spend time with my friend were gone. I kept promising and promising that I would visit, but it was too late.

I went to her funeral and sat near the back. It was rough sledding for months. I kept taking trips to Huntsville to see all my old college friends, but I couldn’t tell you what happened when I came back.

It was the first close friend in my life that died. I keep telling myself that I need to stop in Tolar where she is buried on my way to Stephenville for a game, but I have not yet. I need to give my friend flowers, even though she always told me that she wasn’t a fan.

I missed my second chance to help, and to comfort. I couldn’t be there when my friend needed me the most.

Every time I hear the Beatles (her favorite), I think of her. Every time I hear "Sandy" by Bruce Springsteen, her face pops up in my head. I’m still looking for closure on this, and maybe if I can get the word out about someone in need, it would help me.

But it would especially help the Lilly family.

The community now has a second chance to help one of its own. The reaction to Kelli’s illness fired up her community, and the same can happen here.

We can make a difference in someone’s life. Donate to the cause tonight when you see the change buckets, donate through the Web site, and cheer a little louder every time the Tigers huddle.

Here’s to our second chance. Let’s use it.